rock and roll musings by Tim Byrnes

Ain't No Place Like a Hole in the Ground

     So apparently, James Cameron's funded a documentary which examines an ancient Israeli tomb, first discovered in 1980 which - again, apparently - held ossuaries (small stone caskets for holding the bones of the dead) allledgedly marked w/some pretty familiar names. Names like Jesus, Mary, Joseph, a form of Mary purported to signify La Magdalene, James etc. The documentary I saw made no definite claim that this absolutely, positively is the tomb of that Jesus; or that it's discovery 'proves' that Jesus was married, had a son etc.

     The documentary I saw put forth the possibility, perhaps the likelihood, that this could be so - in that the probaility of all those famous names being buried together and NOT being the Jesus family ("The Christs?" Now there's a reality show!) is something like 600 to 1 against.

     Again, I stress the possibility. This could be so. The documentary introduces the question and invites us all to look, consider and discuss.

      Which, as one might imagine, is anathema to the power brokers and little kings of Christianity. Which is why I watched the film, the critical roundtable that followed and, especially, Raymond Arroyo on ETWN the next morning w/unadulterated glee.

     Do I believe that this tomb is the tomb of the historical Jesus? No, not really. The odds that, of all the burial sites in all the gin joints in all the world dug over the last 2,000 years that anyone would find THAT particular site w/all those names clearly marked are, too me, beyond astronomical.

     However, neither do I believe that an empty room n the Holy Sepulchre is proof that Jesus rose from the dead and ascended into heaven. As god propaganda goes (and that's all there is to god, remember?), I'm more apt to consider Cameron's proposition than Christianity's central article of faith ie: the ressurection because, apart from being the more reasonable of the hypothoses, Cameron at least produces some evidence, no matter how suspect. He puts forth his proposal and leaves it up to us to decide. Not a 'thou shalt' in the script. How democratic.

     But between the snickers of anti-deists such as myself, who admittedly loves anything that pokes a stick at religion and the smug 'can't be bothered w/critical thought' attitude of Arroyo and his crew ofver at the Catholic Channel (both the television network and the mindset) an important question seems to me to have been left unasked. And that's this:

     Who cares?

     Really. Why should it matter if it turns out that this actuall IS Jesus' tomb and that he was married and had a kid and maybe didn't riswe from the dead? What bearing should any of that have on the actual teachings of Jesus? The whole 'love thy neighbor' trip? Not a whit, at least not to me. I've always said I thought Jesus was dope, it's his self-apponted sales staff (the Catholic Church, the swarm of swarmt TVangelists, door knocking JW's etc) that I can't stand.

     Why was it so important for the early Christians, that is Simon Peter and the original Catholic Church, to recast this articulate man of peace as the water-walkin', fish-sandwich multiplyin', risin' up from the dead son of god? Why wasn't his message enough?

     I, of course, have a theory.

     It's my take that Peter and his crew knew that they needed a thrilling story to fill those catacombs and, more importantly, to fill those early collectin plates. Much is made in the Bible of these early church leaders writing epistles and travelling hither and yon to give sermons but precious little is told about how they paid for their supper. Much like today's megachurches, though of course on a much smaller scale - they were, after all, just getting started -I think they accepted payment for telling their Jesus stories. And as well they should. I believe all entertainers should be paid. But, and just ask U2 if you don't believe me, you can't keep selling the same product over and over again (well, KISS and AC/DC can, but that's another post) w/out at least juicing it up a little.

      And, as we all know, one lie - excuse me, exagerration - leads to another and before you know it this philosopher of goodness for the sake od goodness has been transformed by, among others I'm sure, the crony who alledgedly denied even knowing him (Jesus) when it was his (Peter's) ass on the line, into ".... the amazing Christ! Son of God!! Risen from the dead and ascended into Heaven!!! And my best friend!!!! So, give me yr drachma and do what I tell you. Hey, honey, who's yr friend? Ever make it w/an Apostle?"

     Yeah, yeah, blasphemy, I know.

     Bite me.

     The history of the Catholic Church has been one of corruption, oppression and conversion by the sword. The tinhorn mysticism, dress up and smoky mirrir manipulation of the masses has resulted in today's Catholic Church: a massively suspect World Power that deals in Mafia banking, art theft, Nazi assistance and let's not forget institutionalized pedophilia.

     I know, the same old song. Shame that it still needs to be sung, isn't it?

     Anyway, about that empty room in the Holy Sepulchre and that site itself. I find it interesting that 3 major religions Christianity, Islam and Judaism (note: in alphabetical order) all claim this same site to be their Holiest of Holy places, Sounds like a property dispute to me. What's really there that can drive men to murder in the name of a kind and loving god? And why is this church, among many, filled w/priceless art and ornamentation when the faiths it has housed all call for man to renounce the worldly?

     Who knows? We probably never will either 'cause these are the kinds of questions that religious leaders are trained to avoid. Keep asking and, trust me, you'll be shown the way out. My advice is don't confuse these ancient orders' concepts of god w/the good that lies in all our hearts. Screw the Church, love thy neighbor and don't believe the hype.    

Posted by: timbyrnes at 17:11 | link | comments (1)

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